BDUB on February 25^th-26^th is a student’s Best Weekend Ever.  In fact, in the history of fun, BDUB is eclipsing the competition and here is why… BDUB is a jam-packed weekend featuring our special guests The Rob Wilson Band, crazy games, lots of food, small group Bible study, compassion opportunities, & chances to win cool prizes and meet new friends!

We are assembling a great team of Hosts, Co-Hosts, & Team Leaders dedicated to making this a Best Weekend Ever experience for each and every student that attends.  As students arrive on Saturday morning, they are placed in groups of 8 to 12 people by grade and gender in church leaders’ homes and have a fun and inspiring adult leader that will guide them through the weekend.  We intentionally give students the opportunity to refresh, refocus and reset as they look toward the final stretch of the school year.

Please encourage your student to do two things in preparation for BDUB:

• Invite at least one or two friends so that no one misses out
• Pray that they would be open to listen to what God wants to teach them at BDUB and follow through with steps of obedience after BDUB

As a parent or simply as a partner in prayer, please join us as we ask God to give us a safe and fun weekend – we desire that God capture the heart’s affection and mind’s attention of our students.

If you would like the opportunity to be on our BDUB Serving Team or if you have other questions about BDUB, please contact our Student Pastor, Hugh Breland, at 940.867.4108 or via email at hugh@prestontrail.org.  We’ve been looking forward to this weekend for a long time, and we’re hopeful and excited to see your student and their friends packing out The Rail and connecting inside small groups across Frisco.  BTW…Don’t worry; we will try to get the guys to put on deodorant and the girls to get a few hours of sleepJ

This weekend will be a game changer, register with this link and get your student signed up today!

The Patron Saint of our Day

Sufferers of the Peter Pan Syndrome:

• Talk like Star Wars wasn’t written for someone half their age
• Play video games into the early morning hours even though they have a job, and are over thirty
• Facebook and play Farmville into the early morning hours even though they have kids, a job, and are over thirty
• Have a group of friends they hang out with regularly at the expense of family time
• React to criticism with flashes of defensiveness, anger, or even rage
• Will bail on a commitment if it becomes difficult or uncomfortable
• Are gripped with indecisiveness when it comes to making commitments
• Often have some kind of an addiction problem
• Will continue flirting in public settings or on the internet even when they are married because this makes them feel young
• Don’t like taking responsibility for anything. Nothing is their fault.
• Don’t like having serious discussions, especially about the future, as they live for the here and now.
• Rarely have any thoughts about “giving back” to anyone or anything
• Make great parents as they are on the same level as their kids
• Turn all conversations to them. They are very ‘me’ or ‘look at me’ type people
• Speak often and fondly of their glories which are only in the distant past

We are most susceptible when we have been:

• Traumatized
• Lobotomized
• Idolized

When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me. (John 12:23-25)

If you want to be a grownup:

• Take responsibility for your self

¹⁵ See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction. ¹⁶ For I command you today to love the LORD your God, to walk in his ways, and to keep his commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the LORD your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

¹⁷ But if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them, ¹⁸ I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess

¹⁹ This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live ²⁰ and that you may love the LORD your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the LORD is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. (Deuteronomy 30:15-20)

• Get over your self

Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds. (John 12:24)

• Exercise self-control

For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. ¹² It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, (Titus 2:11-12)

• Define your self

James son of Zebedee and his brother John (to them he gave the name Boanerges, which means “sons of thunder”), (Mark 3:17)

One of them, the disciple whom Jesus loved, was reclining next to him. (John 13:23)

Then he said to them all: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me. ²⁴ For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will save it. (Luke 9:23-24)

Did you ever stop and think about how many things we measure on any given day?  We measure calories, our weight, sugar and spice, the distance we drive, the time we spend, the weight we lift, the pills we take, the dollars we charge, the minutes and data we use, and the sleep we get.  You name it, we almost always measure it.

How do we measure Up, though?

By “Up’” I mean the things of God.  God himself is beyond measure.  If we could measure him, he wouldn’t be God.  Ponder that one for a bit if you are theologically inclined.  Measuring material things is no sweat.  Measuring spiritual things has always been elusive.  How do you measure love extended?  Forgiveness granted?  Grace offered?  What is the value of a changed heart?  A transformed mind?  An eternity gained?  An eternity lost?

The purpose of Preston Trail has always been a spiritual one—to give our lives to help people find and follow Jesus Christ.  As people learn to be with Jesus and to become like him, things begin to happen.  Changes, imperceptible to the human eye, begin to take place in hearts and minds.  Sometimes before we even realize it, we see things differently, we long for new things and we let go of old things.  Sooner or later, though, these invisible machinations of the soul give birth to visible acts of the hands and feet—children are protected, marriages are reconciled, families are restored, the poor are dignified, baptisms are celebrated, resources are released.  Ah, much better, these are things that we can measure!

So, we do.  Full disclosure–we try to measure Up at Preston Trail.  But, we aren’t doing it to keep score and compare ourselves to the church around the block.  We don’t keep track of things because of the things in and of themselves.  We measure all sorts of things because of what they reflect, what they reveal about what God is Up to inside of us and through us.  With that in mind, I want to share with you some measurements we have taken recently:

• Our church family gave over $45,000 to our Compassion Offering in the month of December.  That is outstanding!  Because God’s Spirit is infecting us with his generosity the under-resourced in our community, an orphanage in Mexico, and 1,000 churches in Uganda are going to be impacted this year!
• In the past two months our church family has given so enthusiastically that we now can pay off the debt on our new property on Independence Parkway and can begin our relocation efforts in earnest owning the land free and clear!

When the floodgates of blessings like these open up we can say, “Only God!”  Only God, at work in the quiet and invisible places in our hearts, can generate this kind of sacrifice and devotion to his purposes!

With this good news in mind, I want to let you know about an exciting opportunity:

Save the Date! Put Sneak Peak! on your calendar for Sunday, February 12 from 5:30-7:00.  Come hear and see HH Architects reveal the Master Plan and Phase 1 Plans for our relocation.   Be among the first to see the amazing vision that will enable us to fulfill our mission in ways we have yet to dream or imagine!  Childcare will be provided.  For childcare reservations go to www.prestontrail.org/rsvp.

I look forward to seeing you this weekend as I continue the series I QUIT!  This week I’ll be challenging us to quit being childish and grow up!  Being an adult is scary at times, but when you realize what God has in store for you it’s more than worth it!

Gratefully!

Jim

• Thom Morris has been serving as the volunteer ministry leader in Celebrate Recovery for the last 18 months. He has led that resurgent ministry so well that we have asked him to join our staff part-time in the same capacity. Welcome, Thom!
• Anne Watson, after moving from Houston to Frisco with her family this past summer, immediately plugged into our women’s ministry program. Her vision and passion for women’s ministry, combined with her prior business experience, have led us to invite her to be part-time Women’s Ministry Interim Director. Welcome, Anne!
• Jody Wissing has been the genius behind the visual arts identity of Preston Trail. Her growing love for and involvement with social media have inspired us to ask her to take a new seat on the bus, as full-time Communications Director. Welcome, Jody!

You’ve probably noticed that Anne and Jody are moving into roles previously held by Jen Long. In light of Jen’s pregnancy and March due date for their little boy, she has asked to be relieved of her staff responsibilities as of January 31, 2012. Throughout January, she will pass her vocational batons to Anne and Jody. While we don’t like the thought of Jen not being on church staff, we bless her decision and release her to be a full-time wife, mother, and homemaker. We invite you to welcome to these new staff members next time you see them around Preston Trail!

What is people-pleasing?

People-pleasing is a pattern of living driven by an unhealthy need to make others happy, whatever it takes. It is approval-addiction.

“You know you’re a redneck if …”

• You have ever cut your grass and found your car.
• Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.
• Your wife has ever said, “Come move this transmission so I can take a bath.”
•  You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.
• Your mama has “ammo” on her Christmas list.

Symptoms of people-pleasing

• You are confused about your own values
• You are losing your “self”
• “He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away.”
• You are tired and worn-out
• You are lonely
• You think it is the “Christian” thing to do 

Why we become people-pleasers

• We experience discomfort or pain
• We conclude that we are unloved and unlovely
• We often choose people-pleasing as the way to find love
• That simple desire morphs into an addictive craving for approval!

The real problem with people-pleasing: It’s built on lies!

• “In order to be happy, I must be loved by everybody.”
• “If people don’t love me, I’m a failure.”
• “If someone criticizes me or is angry at me, I can’t be happy or at peace.”
• “I can and should meet the expectations of everyone around me.”
• “It is unselfish to please others, and it is selfish to please myself.”
• “I’m responsible for everyone’s happiness.”
• “There’s nothing worse than being rejected by another person.”

The worst lie of all: “My value is determined by what others think of me!”

God’s truth about you

• God created you

27 So God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them. 31 Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was excellent in every way. (Genesis 1:27, 31)

If that’s the macro-view of your creation, here is the micro-view …

13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. 14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous – and how well I know it! (Psalm 139:13-14)

• Jesus redeemed you

18 For you know that God paid a ransom to save you from the empty life you inherited from your ancestors. And the ransom he paid was not mere gold or silver. 19 He paid for you with the precious lifeblood of Christ, the sinless, spotless Lamb of God. (1 Peter 1:18-19)

• You are now a child of God

15 So you should not be like cowering, fearful slaves. You should behave instead like God’s very own children, adopted into his family – calling him “Father, dear Father.”  16 For his Holy Spirit speaks to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God’s children. (Romans 8:15-16)

How to change

• Call people-pleasing what it is: idolatry!
• Tell yourself the truth
  • Being liked by everyone is overrated … it’s also impossible

“There’s trouble ahead when you live only for the approval of others, saying what flatters them, doing what indulges them. Popularity contests are not truth contests – look how many scoundrel preachers were approved by your ancestors! Your task is to be true, not popular. (Luke 6:26, The Message)

• Rejection is not the end of the world
• If someone criticizes me, that is just their opinion … my happiness and peace can come from God
• What others think of me is not as important as what God thinks of me
• Look for simple ways to begin
• Keep it light
  • GK Chesterton: “The reason angels can fly is because they take themselves so lightly.”
  • Prayer for codependents:

Dear God, please help me recover from:

-        perfectionism, and let me get it right;

-        control issues, and let me know if you need any help;

-        people-pleasing, if that’s all right with you.

Amen

• Read good books on the subject

When people hear the words “recovery” or “12-step program” they instantly think of alcohol or drug addiction. While it is true that Celebrate Recovery deals with issues pertaining to those habits, we also have people participating in CR with life issues such as perfectionism, people-pleasing, anger problems, and codependency. Ever wondered what Celebrate Recovery is and isn’t?

What Celebrate Recovery is:

• A place to grow and become strong again
• A place for healthy challenges and healthy risk
• A possible turning point for your life
• A safe place to share
• A place of belonging
• A refuge
• A place to care for others and be cared for
• A place where respect is given to each person
• A place where confidentiality is highly regarded
• A place to learn

What Celebrate Recovery isn’t:

• A place for selfish control
• A place for therapy
• A place for secrets
• A place to look for dating relationships
• A place to rescue or be rescued by others
• A place for perfection
• A place to judge others
• A quick fix

Celebrate Recovery emphasizes personal responsibility. Instead of playing the “accuse and excuse” game of victimization, this program helps people face up to their own poor choices and deal with what they can do something about. We cannot control all that happens to us. But we can control how we respond to everything. That is a secret of happiness. When we stop wasting time fixing the blame, we have more energy to fix the problem. When you stop hiding your own faults and stop hurling accusations at others, then the healing power of Christ can begin working in your mind, will, and emotions.

We invite you to come check us out this Thursday as we celebrate our monthly “birthdays” with a potluck dinner and an amazing testimony from one of our own. Dinner starts at 6:30 with Large Group following at 7 p.m. We hope to see you there! And don’t miss week two of our Sunday message series, “I Quit!” as Senior Pastor Paul Basden addresses the topic of “People Pleasing.” Service times are 9;15 and 11 a.m. & 12:30 p.m. We hope you’ll invite a friend and come ready to find freedom from the bad habits that can prevent us from living the full life that God intends!

Quitters sometimes win!

Winners quit all the time.  They just quit the right stuff at the right time!– the dip, by Seth Godin

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; ²³ to be made new in the attitude of your minds; ²⁴ and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. (Ephesians 4:22-25)

I Quit! . . . being a control freak!

A “Control Freak” is someone who seeks to guarantee safe and successful passage through life for themselves and those they love by controlling every aspect of their personal universe

I might be a Control Freak if:

• I am fastidious about my diet, workout, and appearance
• I am convinced that I always know the right way to do things
• I move in quickly to advise or fix things because without me they would fall apart
• I work really hard at doing all the right things and avoiding all the wrong things
• I have difficulty allowing others to struggle with their own problems
• I don’t trust others to do as good a job as I can
• I often do what is asked of me, even if I am overloaded

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. ³⁹ She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. ⁴⁰ But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”

⁴¹ “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:38-42)

Anxiety and fear are deeply rooted in the heart of every “Control Freak”

“you are worried and upset about many things . . . “

When does healthy control become freakish control?

• When we are overbearing
• When we are over achieving
• When we overfunction

Overfunctioning—when we do for others what they can and should do for themselves

Over functioners confuse caring for someone with having to take care of someone

What are the consequences of being a Control Freak?

• I create resentment
• I stifle the growth of others
• I miss God’s best for my life

[Interview with Doc and Becky Venhaus]

OMG! What do I do?

• Dispel the myths of control

You are so not in control

In the guise of helping, you are really hurting

• Focus on the one thing

“Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, ⁴² but few things are needed—or indeed only one.Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:41-42)

At the beginning of every New Year, most of us resolve to do something differently. Usually it involves quitting something that is unwise or unhealthy, and starting something that benefits us and others.

Have you thought about what you need to quit? I have, so I’ll go first.

• I need to quit eating so many desserts. For more days in a row than I care to count, I ate not less than 10 Christmas cookies every day. Needless to say, my body feels like a marshmallow.
• I need to limit my sports-watching on TV. Because I’m an avid fan of pro and college athletics, it’s easy for me to find a televised game almost every day that holds mild interest for me. But in the process, my mind stagnates as my eyes are glued on the big screen. And worst of all, I’m ignoring “the wife of my youth” whom God has placed in my life as a far higher priority than ESPN. Busted!
• I need to trust God when things don’t go my way. I have discovered an unpleasant pattern in my life: when things are good, my faith is strong and I’m happy; when challenges come my way, my faith is tested and I easily get cranky. That is not how Jesus lived – he trusted God, no matter what. I want to be more like Jesus.

Now it’s your turn. What do you need to quit?

To help all of us think in the right direction, Jim and I are going to begin a new five-week series this Sunday, January 8, entitled I QUIT. It will focus on helping us quit unhealthy habits and patterns of behavior that can damage our relationship with God and others. Here are the topics for each week:

• January 8: I QUIT Being a Control Freak
• January 15: I QUIT People Pleasing
• January 22: I QUIT Acting Like a Child
• January 29: I QUIT Thinking the Worst
• February 5: I QUIT Making Excuses

Do any of these resonate with you? If you’re like me, all of them do!

God did not design us to live under the burden of these dysfunctional behavioral patterns. He intended that we passionately follow Jesus Christ, who came to give us “life, and life to the full” (John 10:10).

Let’s covenant together now to make 2012 the year we finally say “I quit” to everything that stands in the way of being faithful followers of Jesus. Join us this Sunday as Jim kicks off the series with a compelling message on “I Quit Being a Control Freak.”

And speaking of this Sunday, January 8 is the day that we expand our Sunday service schedule to include a third time: 12:30 p.m. We invite you to be part of the team (200 people are needed) that will make 12:30 the service they attend, so that we can provide space and a church home to hundreds more people across North Texas who will attend at either 9:15 or 11:00 a.m.

For the sake of our mission of “giving our lives to help people find and follow Jesus Christ,” would you commit to make 12:30 the service that your family attends during 2012?

In addition, would you commit to join a Preston Trail serving team and use your gifts to serve others during one of our Sunday morning services, at 9:15, 11:00 or 12:30?

If you’re ready to take either or both of these next steps, complete this simple online form. (And by the way, we are hosting a Thank You Lunch this Sunday immediately following the 12:30 service for everyone who attends or serves at 12:30. Plan to stay after and enjoy lunch in the Atrium with us!)

See you this Sunday for a day of life-change!

Paul Basden, senior pastor

ONE DAYer = Player that is stuck on the bench

One Day I will Share – tell my story

One Day I will Serve – in community, church, world

One Day I will Send – invite, thank you, encouragement, forgiveness

One Day I will Stand – be the leader, influencer God has called me to be

One Day I will Submit – give up control, give up habits, to gain God

How do you change your ONE DAY to DAY ONE?

Heb. 12:1

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us” 

So the Bible tells us to THROW & GO

While it is nice to know we should throw and go, we tend to get comfortable on the bench and make excuses…when we call for help God rescues us but many time instead of turning to help rescue others we stay on the sidelines making excuses

Rescue plus Excuse = RESCUSE

God radically rescued you so that you could rescue radically not so that you could sit on the sidelines BUT there are certain RESCUCES that we make that keep us clinging to our seat on the bench

PERCEPTIONS – your perception of others & others perception of you…

Love PEOPLE not PERCEPTIONS

Because this person has this Position  - If I were CEO, If I had this much money, If I were married to that person, If God had blessed me with…

Love PEOPLE not POSITIONS

PAST – You don’t know what I have done…

God is FOCUSED on your FUTURE not your FAILURES

PING PONG PADDLES to a basketball game – I am not equipped, inadequate to live up to God’s purpose for my life

God FILLS the EMPTY to REACH the BROKEN

Romans 11:36 For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen.

Ready Set GO!

The Christian runner must rid himself even of innocent things which might retard his pressing on to maturity. And all that does not help, hinders. It is by running he learns what these things are. So long as he stands he does not feel that they are burdensome and hampering.

TRANSITION:

God wants you to throw off your perceptions, your past and your ping pong paddles AND GO with new glasses –ready, set, GO – GO with God’s perspective, in fact, let’s rewind that and take a view from the God Cam…

GO with everything

Go with God’s PERSPECTIVE

(God cam)

Go at God’s PACE

One of the greatest mistakes we can make in this race we call life is not to pace ourselves properly – Live remembering it’s not an easy race, it’s not a microwavable race

Luke 24:25 —“He said to them, ‘How foolish you are, and how slow of heart to believe all that the prophets have spoken!’”

2 John 1:9—“Anyone who runs ahead and does not continue in the teaching of Christ does not have God; whoever continues in the teaching has both the Father and the Son.”

To KNOW God’s PACE you must KNOW God

To GO at God’s PACE you must TRUST what you KNOW

God’s PACE = KNOW Him + TRUST Him

Go with God’s PASSION

Unleashed from lukewarm & lazy into leadership and influence

Heb. 6:12 says, “We do not want you to become lazy, but to imitate those who through faith and patience inherit what has been promised.”

PASSION for God in PRIVATE fuels PASSION for God in PUBLIC

Acts 4:20 We cannot stop telling about everything we have seen and heard.

Go with God’s PURPOSE

He has chosen a lane for you

Live with intentionality

Col. 4:4-6

Pray that I may proclaim it clearly, as I should. Be wise in the way you act toward outsiders; make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.

Throw off EVERYTHING that hinders you & give EVERYTHING inside of you to experience EVERYTHING God has for you

By now I have eaten enough Christmas cookies and listened to enough Christmas songs that I finally get the message: it’s over. Christmas is over. And as my father-in-law, who famously takes down all the Christmas decorations in his house on December 26, loves to say, “Nothing is over like Christmas when it’s over!”

For my family whom I love and for the church that I love, it was a God-blessed Christmas. I hope the same has been true for you. But it’s over. And that can mean only one thing … 2012 is almost here!

As you get ready for a new year, let me point you to a great way to welcome in 2012 and to say goodbye to 2011.

January 1 falls on a Sunday this year, and that gives us a unique opportunity to worship together and really start the New Year off right! On that Sunday, we’ll have two services: 11 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. (We didn’t think many of you would show up for a 9:15 a.m. service after ringing in the New Year just a few hours earlier…)

To give January 1 a unique twist and to make it super family-friendly, kids five years and older will join their parents in the Worship Center for a rockin’-sockin’ service. Hugh Breland, our Student Pastor, will bring a New Year’s message entitled “One Day – Day One.” If you have never heard Hugh teach, don’t miss this opportunity! The youth worship band will lead us in music, the energy level will be high, and God will be speaking to all of us about arranging our lives around Jesus Christ in 2012. (BTW, preschool classes will be available for infants through age 4.)

Then on the following Sunday, January 8, we will start a new Sunday schedule with services at 9:15, 11:00 and 12:30. At that time Jim and I will kick off a new five-week message series entitled “I Quit!” There could hardly be a better way to start 2012 than by quitting many of the unhealthy habits and patterns of behavior that can damage your relationship with God and other people.

Finally, as you say goodbye to 2011, many of you will be making year-end gifts to Preston Trail. If you do so during the week of December 26, be aware that although the church office is closed, year-end gifts may be made online at prestontrail.org/giving or mailed to Preston Trail at 10501 Main Street, Frisco, TX 75035. For tax purposes, all gifts must be postmarked on or before 12/31/11. Your generosity empowers our church to accomplish its God-given mission: “We will give our lives to help people find and follow Jesus Christ.”

My closing wish for you, straight from the heart, is simple: May 2012 be the year when you walk with God more than ever before!

Happy New Year!

Paul Basden, Senior Pastor